In defence of smoking

Note: this post is sponsored by Marlboro

I’m not here to deny the proven harms of smoking. I also think that anything with an addictive quality to it or which gives any sort of withdrawal is not something which can possibly be good. This goes for caffeine as well as nicotine – though I’ve stopped drinking as much caffeine as I used to, it’s still one of my worse vices.

But the thing about addiction is that there is an inherent yet flawed assumption. Sure, I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. But I don’t want to stop. So, what’s the problem?

You’re also asking me to quit and give up – it’s something that goes against my very personality. Ever since I was a child, I was brought up to believe that one should not give up, not even at the bitter end. And in almost every other context, I’ve been told that my perseverance is my best quality. It’s what drives me to do better.

“Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” - D. Thomas

And let me tell you: I’m getting better and better at smoking. My throat doesn’t feel as sticky anymore, I cough less, and I now have improved my dexterity to smoke right down to the filter. With such mercurial progress, why would I give up now? Who knows how good I could get?

Ok sure, smoking is still a vice. Again, I’m not here to deny the fact that my fingers now smell, and my clothes are starting to be stained with the smell. But I wash my hands and my clothes regularly. It could be worse: I could be taking speed!

What else would you prefer me to do? I hope you’re not seriously suggesting I vape. Who knows how bad that is for you! Moreover, vaping comes with no cost, and no character-building. With vaping, you have all these random flavours, like bubble-gum, or mango & raspberry. But with smoking, you are forced to reckon with your choice: you must fight through the taste of smoke and ash to reach the feeling you are in search of. In the moment, I make the trade-off necessary to reap my reward. It is not a cheap thrill.

But smoking also has its benefits. I put this to non-smokers who work in an office: when was the last time you stepped outside and breathed in the fresh air? I just spent 20 minutes on a balcony looking out across the city I now call my home, as I took in the silence and pondered life’s deepest questions. This habit of mine has made me far more contemplative.

My only regret, really, is that I didn’t start at university. You see, the potential vibes of a smoke are immaculate. Right now, the underlying vibe to everything I do is ‘melancholy’. I don’t think you quite understand how good it is to listen to sad bisexual girl music which you can’t quite ever relate to as you look upon a sunrise or a sunset, and you breathe in the ashes of your cigarette. The moment after you finish, and the freedom which you feel, and the drum beat to Phoebe Bridgers’ Sidelines kicks in: I’m not sure there’s a better feeling than that. And I shudder to think how much better I would have felt if I rewarded myself with a cigarette as I looked upon the sun rising over the Radcliffe Camera on my 22nd birthday after I had just spent the entire night in the library. Standing with that view, whilst listening to “Dustland Fairytale” by the Killers & Bruce Springsteen would have, I’m sure, made me a better person.

And I think you would be a better person too, if you started today. Celebrate your 1st April the right way.

The essay crisis on my 22nd birthday could have been much better.